Money dealings with friends

[rakesh_ic]

fortunately i've good friend(s) then.. though my story might be not relevant here, but still thought of sharing I've got 5L from a close friend around 3 years back with the promise of paying back everymonth 25K. But i never paid back and he never asked too.. until 2 months back, he reminded me indirectly saying.. i'm booking a house, so much as i'm trying to reduce my bank loan . In last 2 months paid back 4L, in this 2L i got from another friend saying same story.. will pay back by paying 25K everymonth

The problem with money is that, it always feel the inward motion so pleasurable but the out flow will pinch the asses no matter how wealthy a person is.

So borrowing (even during emergency) is not a bright idea. Instead save something for the emergency always before spending anythnig at all.
And if u still want to borrow, borrow from a person whose friendship is not important for you. Because, money once borrowed from a friend will make sure that you lose the friend eventually.

 

[fLUX]

I dont find it bad to lend/take money as long as you convey to them you might delay the payment in some cases. Communicating with the lender at each time is a good thing cause he also is assured that he has not given money into wrong hands.

 

[singenaadam]

In general, money & relationships (esp., with relatives) don't gel well.

 

[mathrisk]

One of my close friend was having some financial/job trouble. I had helped in various occasions. Though some of them I didn't wanted back - but he did kept the count and sometimes he only reminds me of the that.
After sometime, when the total reached a certain point and he asked for some more help - I told him not to ask me for more money. I know he'll return someday - but there was no specific time that he'll be able to repay me. I told him if he ask me more money, the friendship 'might' be lost. Not just because I will always dream of those loans but he may hesitate to face me till he repays.
He did understand - never asked for more. He is stable now - asked me if I need it. I told him settle all other such repayments. I am in no hurry.

ps: he's getting married in coming Jan. Now I am worried.

 

[tmaster]

Easiest solution: spend everything on credit card, when salary comes, pay credit card bills and invest the rest into safe investments

You dont have any money, how can you give them!

 

[blkrb0t]

I guess SkyNet doesn't get updated forum posts. The quote has already been mentioned a few posts above

I just saw Hamlet recently at a theater, so just jumped on it as soon as I saw the title. Didn't even read other replies

 

[vijayshimla]

Lending money to a friend is a surefire way to lose him/her forever. Though i have lost my own share of lacs as lent money to friends/relatives, sometimes new found friends do come up with most novel and seemingly plausible stories to get money. A fellow law student about17 months ago rang up frantically- her husband on way to Delhi in train- had had his pocket picked-his purse was gone-but he had his debit card with him ( she was driving to D Dun for appearing in an exam- could i put 15k in him a/c ?- will get it back within a week. I did that thinking about distress of a person with lost wallet- and from then on the contact got lost. A coupla reminders elicited reply- ' my hubby is hospitalised', 'we r on rocks financially' etc etc.
The lesson- UDHAR PREM KI KAINCHI HE ( Credit is the scissors to cut love ) is surely as true today as it was generations ago !

 

[djmykey]

After burning my hands at such lending and losing a friend or 2, I have some rules about lending. I always ask what the money is required for. If its electronics, gadgets, things for fun, I never lend. I just tell them I do not have that much money on me. I seldom lend money to anyone these days. I had lent money to a team mate once. The fella felt way too much in debt of me. This made me way too uncomfortable. I told him this, saying that I have lent you money, I did not heal or bring back somebody to life for you. So chillax. The poor fella was so taken aback. He returned every penny back. And then he said that he had never ever borrowed money from anyone and this was his first time. Hence the discomfort.

 

[HailStonE]

My father has lost few lakh's lending to relatives, Some of them did paid back but most did not. Nevertheless the payments which he did received were in meagre instalments which in real sense is actually money considered lost. Now we make sure he doesn't easily lend away.

Personally I've lent to a few friends. They did returned the money but after much pestering. One of them took ~3 years but with this guy I never asked for the money back since he was actually in a bad fix. The sum mostly ranged from 3k-10k. Only one friend who took 1k didn't returned & since he was actually from another town it wasn't feasible anyway. Right now I have to get back about 5k from a friend to whom I'd provided some hardware parts. He is constantly delaying it giving excuses like no money, or that he has meagre sales, he spent on his business. I know he is deliberately delaying it & I was going pretty soft with my approach but now I've made up my mind I will try better to settle it in December. On a positive note my best friend needed ~5L for something important & I asked my father for the money since I didn't had that much. My friend returned the money even before me asking for it & kept reminding me that he needed to payback without delay. Even his father was very persistent to return the money as soon as possible.

As for lending money I try to avoid it by telling people that I am in a crunch myself or that its all invested or that I need it for something important which is imminent. I am not extravagant & don't boast of my material belongings to most people 'coz its a sure shot way of people thinking that they can always rely on you for money, thinking that you have excess. Always try to downplay your spendings if somebody is exploring, tell them you got it in instalments or it was on offer/scheme.

 

[sunilromy]

i bought a phone evo 3d for my best friend, lol he has not paid a single penny yet. 3 months and counting. I am sure one day he will give me. but no bonus or interest.

 

[raksrules]

i bought a phone evo 3d for my best friend, lol he has not paid a single penny yet. 3 months and counting. I am sure one day he will give me. but no bonus or interest.

yes that is something not supposed to be done, i denied my friend once such a request. "Arre tere paas credit card hai na...mereko woh phone jo chahiye wo mangva de na". I knew he would delay payments and all so i did not buy for him.

 

[sunilromy]

yes that is something not supposed to be done, i denied my friend once such a request. "Arre tere paas credit card hai na...mereko woh phone jo chahiye wo mangva de na". I knew he would delay payments and all so i did not buy for him.

Ya, not for everyone but yaar woh best frnd hai, yaahi fus gaaya. dega woh zarur. but he dont hav funds now to pay.

 

[djmykey]

yes that is something not supposed to be done, i denied my friend once such a request. "Arre tere paas credit card hai na...mereko woh phone jo chahiye wo mangva de na". I knew he would delay payments and all so i did not buy for him.

This is my approach too.. If anyone pesters me more, I say deposit the money in my bank account only then will I get the thing for you.