Harassment in residential societies and spinning of news by the media

[blkrb0t]

The quoted passage below is from Deepti Naval's facebook page. She's an Indian American actress who features mostly in parallel Hindi cinema rather than in mainstream, so she might be not that well known.

I've been pretty upset the last few days over something that the print media has been distorting hugely . . . each one of you on Facebook has been totally silent about it - no comment whatsoever - and I appreciate that - and since I know you people care, I'd like to, to explain what has really happened -

Just before the release of 'Listen Amaya' me and Farooque Shaikh were doing an interview for Rajiv Masand in my Versova terrace flat. I had been keeping unwell those days and had requested Rajiv's camera team to cover over to my house instead of me having to go to his studio. Rajiv came over with his three camera setup and we were in the middle of this interview when three members from the Society barged into the flat and demanded that we stop this activity - they thought we were making a movie - I explained to them that they can sit here and watch - we are not making a movie, we are doing an interview - but they threatened to call the police on me. Rajiv, Farooque and my director Avinash Singh and his wife Geeta were all very embarrassed hearing this sort of conversation. We tried to wind up fast. Then one neighbor Mr Rajan Khurana was sent up to convey to me that the Society has threatened to call the police if we don't stop 'this activity' right away. I explained again but to no avail. After that I got a call from the Secy of the building who was very irked and repeated that 'We'll have to call the police on you'. We cancelled all other interviews after that.
I was hugely embarrassed; I apologized to my colleagues and they quietly left.

I felt so humiliated and felt my rights as a resident were violated. I decided to pack my stuff from the Oceanic residence and come and stay at my Madh Island house.

I am an artist and have always given interviews in my own home - all artists do that all the time - there is nothing illegal about it - it is their right.

Never mine, now this is what follows the incident.

A week / eight days ago a journalist friend asked me what I was doing sitting in Madh - and I gave vent to my frustration. I told him over the phone that -

'The Society treated me so badly and kept threatening me with "WE'LL CALL THE POLICE, WE'LL CALL THE POLICE", as if I'm running a racket here!'

Next day it was out in print - in Mumbai Mirror - the sensational headline -
'I'M NOT RUNNING A PROSTITUTION RACKET" - and the story about the society fiasco, stating how badly insulted I was by the members of my building. Nothing wrong with the contents of the article. But this is what follows . . .

Other papers have picked up the SENSATIONAL HEADLINE and implied as if the Society has ACCUSED me of running a prostitution racket. I've neen appalled! I will post those articles so you all can see how the press distorts everything to make eye-catching news! One of the tabloids has said -

DEEPTI NAVAL OUSTED OUT OF HER 'PROSTITUTION DEN'

A dear friend, she called me - appalled at reading the contents in a Calcutta tabloid - 'What is all this? Who has been accusing of running a racket?'
I explained to her that no one is ACCUSING me of running anything like that - it is the PRESS that is IMPLYING . . .

Of course I've been back at Oceanic in the last days and have conducted my meeting there as well - I'm a little confused - should I take action against the print media or should I let it go. If I let this go, then there are people who've said -
'KUCH TO HOGA NA . . . AISE HIS TO NAHIN SOCIETY ITNA OBJECT KAR RAHI' - Imagine?
Friends from the industry feel 'let dogs bark . . . you carry on'

I was sitting there at my terrace flat - after Farooque and I had spent a whole day going to various radio stations giving fresh round of interviews before the re-release of the old Chashmebaddoore on April 5th - and I was looking around at my beautiful spacious home where I sit and dream, do all my writing work, invite friends, spend quality time with myself - and I was in tears . . . this sanctuary of mine to be called a 'PROSTITUTIO DEN' - in my heart, I apologized to my father who is no more in this world, and quietly prayed, -
'I'm sorry, Piti, see what all this has catapulted into? Please help me learn to ignore it and move on - but I will not disappoint you - I will fight for my right!'

Thank you for bearing with me - I can't go around explaining to the whole world but I can . . . to a few of you who I know, care . . .

- Deepti Naval

There are two topics at play here:

1. Harassment of residents in societies by the neighbours as well as the society heads.

2. The spinning of news by the media to grab sensationalist headlines.

 

[raksrules]

All Indian news channels deserve to shut down. Especially the more sensational ones.
About harassment, don't even get started. If a guy brings a friend home (who happens to be a girl) or vice versa, it is automatically implied they do s3x and all. Most people around us have interest in other lives than themselves.
Forget society or building, even relatives don't spare us.

 

[agantuk]

The quoted passage below is from Deepti Naval's facebook page. She's an Indian American actress who features mostly in parallel Hindi cinema rather than in mainstream, so she might be not that well known.

Really? I thought she is pretty well known. May be I am out of touch with reality

 

[irfanlai]

Housing society do try to keep discipline in their premises but at times they cross their limit.
Even on Erodov 1 guy had updated his story what housing society did when their friends were having a get together.
Here is the link of that http://www.erodov.com/forums/narrow-mindedness-society/60503.html

Even I have faced society pressure previously for no need at the 1st place.

 

[blkrb0t]

Really? I thought she is pretty well known. May be I am out of touch with reality

She is not that well known as others, was just giving a heads up. Those who follow movies ardently might know her, anyway that's not the issue here.

@raksrules Yep, the harassment in residential societies is pretty pathetic indeed. People snoop on other people's lives more than others. Suppose I do bring a girl, and suppose I do have consensual sex with her, what will be their problem? How is that a problem as long as we don't create nuisance?

And regarding the Indian media, pathetic indeed. Anything to gain sensationalist headlines. The first paper did it just to grab some eyeballs, not directly accusing anyone. But the ones who followed it afterwards ruined it completely and gave a complete different spin. A classic case of Chinese Whispers, which all media professionals should be wary of.

 

[raksrules]

The problem with the society people is that if a male and female are married and have sex in their flat they are fine but if they are not married then they have all sorts of problems.
If they have all these issues and want to invade others' privacy, why not everyone start making houses of glass with transparent glass walls ?

 

[agantuk]

To be honest, this is nothing new. The Indian media has been doing this for a really long time, and I have seen numerous such instances when it comes to the Hindi film industry. They quote 'sources' as saying something, ignite a fire where there is none, and then continuing it. When proved wrong, they don't so much as bother to publish it anywhere, instead they themselves 'absolve' the concerned parties of any wrong doing. Nothing new, nothing new.

 

[blkrb0t]

The problem with the society people is that if a male and female are married and have sex in their flat they are fine but if they are not married then they have all sorts of problems.
If they have all these issues and want to invade others' privacy, why not everyone start making houses of glass with transparent glass walls ?

Moral policing, everyone likes to have their "morals" dumped on others. There is an issue deeper than just privacy invading here, it's got to do with insecurities with the self.

I don't have any experience with living in residential societies, but it's one of my greatest fears if I have to shift city for job purposes.

 

[OinkBoink]

Bloody hell. This story made me cringe.

One more thing. Even if I did bring my girlfriend over to my place in a residential society and have sex with her in the privacy of my house, why the hell should the rest have a problem? It's my girlfriend. Not a prostitute. We're having consensual sex.

If I'm not disrupting the lives of the people in my community, what I do inside my own damn house is my business (as long as it's legal and ethical).

 

[renegade]

It's my girlfriend. Not a prostitute. We're having consensual sex.

How can we distinguish one from another?

(Just looking at it from the other side)

 

[OinkBoink]

How can we distinguish one from another?

(Just looking at it from the other side)

Indeed, that would be a problem. So we'll just prevent both the sexes from interacting with each other in a residential society? One can ask the girl questions, ask her to provide some ID etc. (I know this may not always work out in reality)

BTW, if the guy's sleeping with a prostitute in his house and the police come to know of it, it'll be a problem for him and not the residential society, right? If he's doing anything to disrupt anyone else's life they can deal with him right away.

 

[blkrb0t]

How can we distinguish one from another?

(Just looking at it from the other side)

How can we know that families are not having incest in their homes?

(Just looking at it from the other side)

The problem with that kind of thinking is that you're assuming everyone is a criminal and they have to prove their innocence. They are charged of being guilty even before they've committed a crime, let alone the possibility of it.

 

[Mr.J]

I don't understand, what problem the society had with Deepti filming her interview in her own apartment?

The link Irfan posted freaked me out by the way. Even our police are freaking morons.

 

[raksrules]

In this country everyone likes to moral police everyone. Police and societies moral police others. Govt does it to the entire nation. The censor board does to films and we get crippled version and we end up downloading. TV Channels do moral policing by censoring TV shows, mainly the english ones.

 

[renegade]

How can we know that families are not having incest in their homes?

(Just looking at it from the other side)

The problem with that kind of thinking is that you're assuming everyone is a criminal and they have to prove their innocence. They are charged of being guilty even before they've committed a crime, let alone the possibility of it.

Incest is not illegal, prostitution is.

But I get your point about assuming everyone is a criminal. I assume that is because of too much preemptive action. Just to avoid the 1% chance that there could be prostitution going on next door, we are trying to eliminate the whole 100% occurrence of the prior event.

 

[blkrb0t]

Incest is not illegal, prostitution is.

Yes, but why stop at that, why not claim all families are having incest? My argument wasn't against it being legal or illegal.

OK, so I would say something more damning.

How do we know families with kids are not sexually abusing their children?

(Just looking at it from the other side)

 

[blkrb0t]

In this country everyone likes to moral police everyone. Police and societies moral police others. Govt does it to the entire nation. The censor board does to films and we get crippled version and we end up downloading. TV Channels do moral policing by censoring TV shows, mainly the english ones.

My mother walked in on me when I was watching a movie and said that watching "English" movies would ruin me. I was watching a German movie then LOL.

 

[renegade]

How do we know families with kids are not sexually abusing their children

Perhaps because there is very little evidence (and police action against this) of this happening as against the former. They are 'rooting' out the bigger 'evil' first. [DOUBLEPOST=1364460906][/DOUBLEPOST]

My argument wasn't against it being legal or illegal.

My argument was towards avoiding police involvement in the society. So legality is relevant.

PS: I am in no way saying that I know the reason behind the mentality. I am merely speculating on the possibility. Other obvious reasons are of course well known, like people like to poke their nose everywhere and judge everyone.

 

[blkrb0t]

@Renegade You really think that there are less kids being sexually harassed than there are prostitutes in legit homes?

And rooting out the bigger evil first? Prostitutes are bigger evil than kids being sexually harassed?

 

[OinkBoink]

I just read irfanlai's link. This might sound like an arrogant thing to say. But a lot of these police personnel come from lower income group families and live in slum-ish areas. Some of them may have raw natural intelligence (higher than mine sometimes) and some of their children may end up studying in IITs. That's not the point. On an average, the culture that they grow up in and the culture we grow up in tend to be very different. They come from a culture where it is usually believed that a woman being raped is her fault (because of her attire or whatever). In other words, they are gawaar.

These people are going to police us? Gimme a break.