Will you give up on a childhood friend who literally stole your life's savings?

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Don't panic as it won't make things easy for you, instead you will be exhausted mentally and thats not good for anyone. Go ahead and make a list to set your priorities and organize your time. The 2 points you should look are (What makes you happy VS you just have to do it anyway) don't compare Time VS Money, your happiness is above everything so concentrate on that.
Since your workload will decrease in couple of months its best you hire a maid to help you during that time so you have some personal time also try to increase sleep time to atleast 5~6h
 
Getting a domestic help here is VERY expensive. We do have a babysitter...a young lady who took a break before college. And she does help a lot. God bless this kid. In fact she's making breakfast for all of us right now.

We live far away from the city centre, it's a small but well knit community. Some of our neighbours are living here for generations and they do help in every possible way. But I do miss India, the people...many Indians do live in Praha, but not in this area or anywhere near by.
 
Be a good friend, be there for him, as in try and talk to him and get him to accept professional help, if he has problems overcoming his addiction.

If I abandoned my best friend when he needed me, I am sure, irrespective of financial gains, it'd effect my conscience for the rest of my life. Maybe try and talk to him, if he opens up, help him, else, you know you tried, and it is no longer in your control.

But, never give a gambler money. You'd be enabling his habit is all.

Edit after reading some of the replies: Please consider this might be a mental health issue! I have seen and experienced the effects of depression and alcohol addiction etc on people/friends. Most of the time, depressed people just need a genuine person/friends arms around their shoulder, someone who won't judge them for things beyond their control. It does miracles for them.
 
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Long time friends do cheat / behave strangely and it's not always about money.
People from Kolkata may know of a band "Krosswindz", a very small band which started by a guy called Bikramjit Banerjee ( known as Tuki) and 5 of his friends. And unfortunately/ fortunately I was one of them ( a skinny very tall kid with long curly hair just out of school)
We managed to get a record deal with a small local audio record label called Asha Audio, and published a 8 song record "Poth geche Benke"..."the winding road"
Of course it flopped, but we broke even and made some very small profit. We did some small gigs in Jadavpur Engineering college, Calcutta Medical College etc.
I was flat broke at that time and due to pressure of medical school quit the band and moved on.
Now after almost 30 years, found that Krosswindz has a wiki page!! It's the band we started ( I was the youngest of them)!! But strangely other than Tuki, there's no mention of other members...which is perfectly fine as we left long ago.
But what's not fine is that our first record is available in Spotify and Tuki took credit for all the instruments, even lyrics!! In reality it was Neil and me who wrote almost everything in that album. I'm still in touch with Tuki and he never told me anything!!
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=RD4kWKmqqx7Lk&playnext=1
This is that record, it even has our photographs on the cover!!
It doesn't matter at all now, I have played in much larger and ofcourse better bands as my skill sets improved with practice. But it was my first studio experience...and though the lyrics are really immature and often cheesy and cringy..these songs were mine...wrote them all...they worth nothing, but somehow it hurts. They all were at least 5 years older to me and Tuki was full time musician, he knew about copyright and all those shit. He is a gifted guitar player for sure ( they all were technically better) but they only played covers.
It was Boni ( the vocalist) and me who thought we can write our own music and play it in gigs.
Years later, I was still in Kolkata, Tuki called up and requested me to rejoin. I went to their practice pad...but it became a completely different band..his wife Chandrani was doing the vocals, and they were playing Bengali folk songs ( after seeing the commercial success of a shitty band called Bhumi) and he was trying to incorporate soft guitar solos with whatever rubbish they were singing about. Had to tell that I feel no connection with this kind of music ( I grew up in a city...knew nothing about Bengali folk culture and had no interest) But there was no drama, we never fought and spoke to both Chandrani and Tuki even the last time I was in Kolkata over phone.
He never ever told me that our first shitty record is in Spotify and still generates some revenue.
The band got some recognition years after the first record, but not for their subsequent folk records. I've checked Spotify, it is still the first record that got significantly higher number of streams.
God knows I am not jealous or anything for not being credited as founding member of some small obscure Bengali rock band..just sad.
Now the real shocker...
Guess most / many of you have heard this song. I didn't till very recently...as I am not at all into Hindi music.
Now listen to this,
Sounds familiar?
This Bengali song was written by a genius... Gautam Chattopadhyay...our beloved Moni jethu. Believe it or not, they were probably the first Indian "band"....Mohiner Ghoraguli.
In that wiki picture you can see a guy playing flute...he is no more with us...Raja Banerjee...my beloved baba (dad)
Anyway, Moni Jethu wrote that beautiful song and gave that diary to my father. After dad passed away, my mother kept that diary very securely.
Moni Jethu's son is a drummer ( Gaurav/ Gabu) he was a toddler when we recorded this song ( it was the last song of Krosswindz's first record)
Moni jethu never cared for any copyright issues and gave us permission to record it without asking for a single penny ( he was struggling with his lifelong demon of alcoholism) he just gave it away because he always treated me like his own son ( he and my father were lifelong friends)
Now after many years, some Bollywood guy approached Tuki to use that song in some movie... Gangster or something. Tuki hold the copyright of our first record and sold that one particular song to that producer for a huge undisclosed amount of money.
Gabu ( Moni Jethu's son) by that time was a pretty good drummer ( he is super talented... genetics) and he got really pissed when he heard that hindi version of that song. But he couldn't do anything legally.
Even my mother was shocked...the hindi version of the song is written and performed very very poorly. James the Bangladeshi guy who sung it, is a terrible singer and that truly great song turned into a horrific bollywood stamped garbage.
This is how dirty the music industry is in India, where a singer like Arijit Singh is considered God. He can't even play a 3 chord song live properly. These people will rot in hell. We make fun of mumble rappers, but most Bollywood music I've heard is no better. No engineer can fix a terrible performance.

If you guys find some time, please compare the two versions. The hindi one didn't even pay a decent guitarst to do the lead stuff. Some average keyboard player played Orange Street Samples "Siterdelic" on a ****ing midi keyboard...and he/ she tried to emulate the slide with a mod wheel or pitch bend or something similar found on cheap ass midi keyboards.
The simple bass during intro which I changed at least 50 times before the final version is completely missing ( as most Bollywood bass player can't play anything other than locking with the drummer...they simply don't know how to use the bass other than providing a base rhythm with the drums and rhythm guitar) and that irritating voice of James...yeah..yeah.. doesn't make anything heavy/ emotional. And those lyrics!!
It was a song of emotional disconnect between people (not lovers) despite having all the options ( the first line in Bengali means, the whole world has been shrunk to a television, two people watching it together but they forgot how to communicate meaningfully as they are lightyears apart in their mind, despite such close proximity)

When the song was written, there was no internet, no social media...only television and cable TV just entered ( many of you were probably not even born)
Moni jethu was not an ordinary person, he was a hardcore communist but realist at the same time. Each and every song he penned down 45 years ago, is still very much relevant ( probably more now). He hated love songs but wrote a few, but those are not typical mushy songs, most of them are open to interpretation right from straight sexual/ physical attraction to giving up everything and completely surrendering to the other person at a spiritual level.
He wrote few beautiful songs about the city he could never leave...Kolkata.
It's a pity that most younger generations of Bengalis ( even musicians) haven't heard the first true rock band from India.
They ( including my dad) behaved like true rebels...showing up drunk/ high on stage, thrown out of All India Radio's recording room, resulting in a mini riot. I was not born at that time. Heard crazy stories from mom after baba passed away.
 
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Damn bro, this Bheegi Bheegi song was copied by this copycat music director called Pritam. The album was a huge hit and all the rage even in Kerala, It was such a hit that we performed this song at school. I still remember the entire song and lyrics now, after 15 years. We specifically performed this song because the girl I was trying to woo told me she loved this song.

You might not believe this but we musically inclined people used to discuss that something was off about the songs intro, that is, the female humming vocal feels out of place.

It's awesome that we all now know the truth about the real artists.

Personally, I can not express how elated I am, that I know the person who was part of the group of artists who created this gem. Thanks for sharing this "truth of art" here. It is my privelege to be able to send this reply.

Hope you all return to make music someday. I now understand your compassion. A true artist can never not be compassionate and most of the pure artists I know don't care about money, copyrights or mundane shit like that.

Lots of love, hope and prayer. Sort all these stressors that plague you in life now and get back to creating music. Nothing in this world is more important than art.

Thank You mate.

Just want to add after listening to the OG you shared, vocals by Bony is on another level!!!
 
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By Pritam, did you mean Pritam Chakraborty?
He's in Bollywood now!!
If it's the same Pritam, I knew him for years. He was in a band called " Jotugriher Pakhi", probably played rhythm guitar. AFAIK he was in Chandrabindu too ( Chandril told me years ago)
How did he end up in Bollywood? He could barely play the rhythm guitar and did some backing vocals.
Thanks a lot for this valuable information. Getting his number won't be difficult. I must ask him why did he pick up this particular song to mess with, fully knowing it's waaaay out of his league both lyrically and musically.
Let's hear from him!! Thanks a ton!!
I never really left music, but never went full time ( didn't have the balls, and after what happened to my father...he battled depression all his life after their band didn't make any impact during their time)
Now I live far away from India and mostly play bass with a few Czech , Slovak and German bands...lemme flex a bit...we opened for Rammstein and Lamb of God (twice!!)
But nowadays I am more into production.
Due to Carpal tunnel can't play very fast for long time, it really hurts after 5 minutes of basic finger picking and slapping is almost impossible..too much pain.
As a doctor I know a release surgery won't help. And I'm almost 45!! Too old to run around the stage and create mayhem. It's almost over for me now...and I've accepted it and pretty content sitting behind mixing consoles, helping young kids in studio.
Please don't Google me if you've already found my name in music industry...done many dumb things and some photographs are really disgusting. But can assure, I'm not that wild partying maniac anymore. Just a middle aged mellow, strictly monogamous hippie/ homeless type.
Rough translation of the chorus:

Have you ever thought about it?
Far be the stars by lightyears,
Even further-
You and I are drifting apart slowly


Let us instead sit near the open window
On a mistaken path, on the wrong street
Maybe we can find more companions
A..ha ha ha......Aaa.....ha.....

My English has undergone massive disuse atrophy... possibly can translate better in Czech..
 
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Oh yeah!! It's him...gained some weight..must be in his 50s.
A small update: Got Pritam's number very easily through a mutual friend, and sent him a text last night.
He immediately replied and was genuinely surprised ( everyone called me "bachha"- kid, I started playing with guitars, bass etc.from a very early age..didn't have proper toys, and those were my toys..and could write bass lines and semi decent chord progression by the age of 10/12 and started playing live at 14/15...everyone was at least 5/6 years older to me)
We had a very nice and long facetime and both of us were up the whole night!!
Yes, he steals chords/ melodies from others music and admitted to it...and it's okay...not everyone can create a piece of music from scratch. He had his struggles in that cut throat industry...and it was struggle for survival and I respect that ( he had the guts to go full time in music with all the technical handicaps and eventually made it)
What I really liked about him, that despite all the success, he's still grounded and very much aware of his inabilities.
(From my limited experience with music, daily practice and hard work can take anyone up to a decent level, but crossing that limit is EXTREMELY difficult...not talking about commercial success, but earning respect within the musician community only, much more difficult to achieve compared to any other success...how many of you heard of Amyt Dutta? But as an insider, can bet he is THE BEST GUITAR PLAYER in India and probably Asia...even God like Satriani will have a hard time competing with Amyt da on his good days... please trust me on this...bloodied my fingers on a daily basis for year after year practicing 15-16 hours/day...and I know how tough it is)
I showed him how to play and incorporate the bass intro to that "bheegi bheegi'...it is actually a very easy bassline, he picked it up instantly.
We jammed for 45 minutes or so...just improvisation starting from a very common riff we grew up on, his playing has improved significantly.
I was very bitter last night, now it's all gone...jamming with an old pal after almost 30 years had a cleansing effect on me. Now I wish nothing but success to all of them (including Tuki)
Those were not wasted years, just good memories which felt like from another life. **** copyright, **** money, **** fame, **** everything but music...I was in it for the love of it ( just like my dad) and enjoyed the ride to the fullest. No ****ing regret...my old bandmates still respect me and the insanity and excess with my instument of choice...and it's more than enough!!
Peace and For Those About To Rock...I salute you...
 
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red dragon said:
Then I started working on myself...trying to bring the best in me ( sadly there's nothing much)..but I worked hard.. really hard..20 hours day...then went to Serbia..wrote a paper on Toluene huffing addiction among young people in Serbian slums ( not only Belgrade, but all the hidden slums of that small country)...spent days with them inside tunnels, deserted houses...by God's grace that paper got immense popularity and own some stupid awards..and they promoted me straight to the head of substance abuse program of Eastern and later Central and Eastern EU.
Link to this paper?

3. If you wanna check my credentials, go ahead it's all there in WHO central eastern Europe homepage.
Link?
 
You have to pay up for that mate. If you knew anything about medical academics, you should know, certain studies are not available for public consumption for free.
Buy a NEJM subscription ( if it's open to all..I don't know...search for " Toluene and a generation")
Or go to https://www.lkcr.cz/czech-medical-chamber-cmc-443.html
See if they let you in or not...if yes, search for "Tempus Medicorum"...I forgot the exact issue.
Easiest will be the latest version of Harrison's last edition, go to the substance abuse part, it's mentioned there.
Regarding WHO...it's in their Europe region obviously.
Never thought a super mod would be this curious about a small member.
I can spare you all the work..can always share my medical registration number via DM, you can verify with AIIMS/ West Bengal Health University.
Some members in fact have my prescription.
BTW, how is this related to this particular thread? Don't like me, just ban me..just like you guys did to Julian / msakandi...but I won't shift one inch from truth.
If you're so interested in me, open a thread like everyone else. You picked up on a wrong person. And stick to forum rules. Those apply to mods too.
 
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How about asking Dr. Kluge!?
I've given you the link already, check if you can register.
As an adult you should understand, certain sensitive papers can't be kept in the open. If you have necessary credentials, you can access it in minutes.
And if you're playing Sherlock Holmes, you have to jump hoops, pay for subscription etc.
If you are an MD and have genuine interest, I can send you right away.
Oh God!! You don't even aware of NEJM!! 2000!! I thought you guys are Google gurus.
 
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You should forget your "friend" and move on. Also, suggest not to be in touch with his wife, etc. Disconnect from him in all channels. Normally, for peace, the mind should continue to connect with good memories.
 
3. If you wanna check my credentials, go ahead it's all there in WHO central eastern Europe homepage.
How about asking Dr. Kluge!?
You want me to ask Dr Kluge where the homepage is?

I've given you the link already, check if you can register.
Tempus Medicorum is publicly accessible here. Which year should I be looking at?

If you are an MD and have genuine interest, I can send you right away.
Yes I know a Doc who would be interested. Please send it to me.
 
Please send me a copy of his registration and MD certificate or tell him/ her to contact me directly.
Ask Kluge whatever you want to know about me, my credentials, work, publication, how much I make, my clinical skill / lack of it, even my musical career as he attended many of our concerts.... whatever you feel like.
He's the one I report to.
Tempus bought it from JME possibly in 2017/18.
Anything else sire? Interrogation over? Now shall I ask you something?
Where's the email from Xio? Publish it openly. I will upload our phone conversation after that....it will be super fun.
You want Kluge's contact number?
As a mod you should be ashamed of yourself...if you bug me again in this thread, things will turn ugly.
I don't even give a flying **** about some lowlife mod of a forum, which unfortunately has many nice members. Now STFU and do some research.
You don't scare me one bit Mr. Mod ( applied to all mods except Vivek) Ban me if you can't handle me, but stop bothering me with your retarded spying.
I've a lot of things to do.
 
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Please send me a copy of his registration and MD certificate or tell him/ her to contact me directly.
Sure, if you can PM me your WHO email ID, I can get them to contact you.

Is there any "non-sensitive" information you can share? I find it strange that an award winning paper has no digital footprint.
 
my name in all small letters.24@who.int
It can't be them...one person only.
Footprint huh!! A person who can't find NEJM looking for footprint of a closed access paper!! Do you even know how closed access papers are indexed? Heard of medical ethics in life?
I had to write names of real people, no point discussing ethics with probably some MBA type.
Bye, will be waiting for your email. For now you're blocked Mr. Mod. I really don't have time for your bullshit.
Wow, apparently you can't ignore a mod!! Brilliant.
Please don't forget to forward Xioran's reply to that email too.
I will upload a very nice and candid phone conversation...sorry in advance , we made some fun with your username...some old joke.
You want that in this thread or a new one?
If you speak English, and ok joining a little facetime,( which will be recorded and uploaded here and youtube) that would be great.
I can show you around our office, may be have a little chat with my Boss, and of course show the hard copy of the paper you are obsessed with.
Instead of ****ing around in this tiny forum, let's make it a big youtube stream on some established channel ( don't worry, I will handle that) will involve Gabor Mate, Lenka Dolhomutova ( my wife), Denisa Dittrichova ( another doctor in this field, and she's beautiful and single too...but possibly slightly out of your league) you can involve your doctor friend too.
How about Pppeter's channel?
You and your doctor friend can ask me or others anything about my paper, job...Xio about my headphone collection...it will be your show..and it will end up being a comedy.... Peter's channel is perfect. Not many Indians watch it... should work in your favour.
Next Saturday works for you? Please DM your time at least 2 days before. Gabor doesn't live here, he will need to take some time off.
 
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Seems threads were merged, confusing.

Things are changing here as well mate. These days, girls don't opt for C-section unless very necessary. My sister has had 2 normal deliveries now. And it was much easier the second time around.

Yeah I too was meaning to address this. I haven't done/seen any survey, but from my personal experience I think people prefer normal delivery rather than C-section. It's either the doc pushing for C-section or having no choice due to some complication. There could be some who would prefer going under the knife, but I don't think it's the norm.
 
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